Bullying redefined

Greetings,

Bullying is a difficult concept to define.  Scholars such as Dan Olweus define it as being repeatedly exposed to negative actions where the victim has difficulty or trouble defending him or herself.  Others include more details including nitpicking, social exclusion, spreading of rumors, physical fighting, emotional abuse, etc.  However, bullying may also be active, as well as passive.  Bullying may be constant as well as a single incident.  Bullying is hard to define.  I firmly believe that if you feel defiled, harmed or wronged, it can constituted bullying.  However, this yardstick could be abused, if perused from a legal point of view.  From a personal point of view though, who knows better the effect of words and actions than the victim?

People easily lash out at others, seldom thinking about the consequences.  This, I believe also constitutes bullying, irrespective of age.  Should you stand up and fight?  Should you walk away?  Circumstances generally dictate your reaction.  Should you lose a battle to win a war?  I would say so.  It is not always necessary to have the last word.  It is not always necessary to fight, it is very important, however, to let people understand that you are to be respected.

Bullies walk among us, be they five years old, or 55.  Some people outgrow it, others sadly do not.  I always ask, WHY they bully, what triggers bullying behavior?  In upcoming blog posts, NMB will delve deeper into these questions.  For now, I leave you with something to think about:

Bullying as a concept is as easy to define as it is to nail jelly to a tree.  It is equally difficult to pinpoint the exact root of the problem in the bully, as there are various possible causes.  Therefore it is my opinion that to bully a bully, serves no purpose but to escalate the problem.  Bullying needs a new fresh definition, with a new fresh perspective.

-A-