Restorative Justice teaches us that vengeance and vindication are not similar terms. It teaches us that even though a person should be held accountable for his deeds, it is a shift from punitive (punishment) to restorative (restoring the status quo) mind frames.
Excuse my anger and excuse the fact that I am pissed off today at people in general who fluff up wrong doing. I absolutely believe in restorative justice, however I also believe that people, especially adults should take responsibility for their actions. Are adults not the parents who raise children who can either excel, or tumble?
It is my firm belief that a person is a victim up to a point. I am not ignorant to pain and psychological suffering, I do however believe that it becomes a choice at some point, you can choose to address it, to work at it, to better yourself, to take control over your own life.
Excuse me for being angry at people who are horribly mean and hurt others and then make excuses. There is no excuse. In terms of a child, who may or may not know better, I would say that there can be exceptions, because, children take direction from adults. So why then, should I sympathize with people (ADULTS) who do not care about the filth they spew onto others? If someone angers you, talk to them, not about them. If you are mad at someone, do not think of every horrible name, derogatory word or fault they may have to sling at them. Be an adult and talk like an adult. Take responsibility.
My associate and I work SO hard to better this world. We work with children, educators, parents and society. No matter how hard we work, or how much effort we put in, it means nothing, if people do not change their attitude, or be careful of what they say. Then all the sweat and tears in the world, won't fix a thing.
Excuse me, for being angry.
Tuesday 20 August 2013
Wednesday 14 August 2013
Bullying redefined
Greetings,
Bullying is a difficult concept to define. Scholars such as Dan Olweus define it as being repeatedly exposed to negative actions where the victim has difficulty or trouble defending him or herself. Others include more details including nitpicking, social exclusion, spreading of rumors, physical fighting, emotional abuse, etc. However, bullying may also be active, as well as passive. Bullying may be constant as well as a single incident. Bullying is hard to define. I firmly believe that if you feel defiled, harmed or wronged, it can constituted bullying. However, this yardstick could be abused, if perused from a legal point of view. From a personal point of view though, who knows better the effect of words and actions than the victim?
People easily lash out at others, seldom thinking about the consequences. This, I believe also constitutes bullying, irrespective of age. Should you stand up and fight? Should you walk away? Circumstances generally dictate your reaction. Should you lose a battle to win a war? I would say so. It is not always necessary to have the last word. It is not always necessary to fight, it is very important, however, to let people understand that you are to be respected.
Bullies walk among us, be they five years old, or 55. Some people outgrow it, others sadly do not. I always ask, WHY they bully, what triggers bullying behavior? In upcoming blog posts, NMB will delve deeper into these questions. For now, I leave you with something to think about:
Bullying as a concept is as easy to define as it is to nail jelly to a tree. It is equally difficult to pinpoint the exact root of the problem in the bully, as there are various possible causes. Therefore it is my opinion that to bully a bully, serves no purpose but to escalate the problem. Bullying needs a new fresh definition, with a new fresh perspective.
-A-
Bullying is a difficult concept to define. Scholars such as Dan Olweus define it as being repeatedly exposed to negative actions where the victim has difficulty or trouble defending him or herself. Others include more details including nitpicking, social exclusion, spreading of rumors, physical fighting, emotional abuse, etc. However, bullying may also be active, as well as passive. Bullying may be constant as well as a single incident. Bullying is hard to define. I firmly believe that if you feel defiled, harmed or wronged, it can constituted bullying. However, this yardstick could be abused, if perused from a legal point of view. From a personal point of view though, who knows better the effect of words and actions than the victim?
People easily lash out at others, seldom thinking about the consequences. This, I believe also constitutes bullying, irrespective of age. Should you stand up and fight? Should you walk away? Circumstances generally dictate your reaction. Should you lose a battle to win a war? I would say so. It is not always necessary to have the last word. It is not always necessary to fight, it is very important, however, to let people understand that you are to be respected.
Bullies walk among us, be they five years old, or 55. Some people outgrow it, others sadly do not. I always ask, WHY they bully, what triggers bullying behavior? In upcoming blog posts, NMB will delve deeper into these questions. For now, I leave you with something to think about:
Bullying as a concept is as easy to define as it is to nail jelly to a tree. It is equally difficult to pinpoint the exact root of the problem in the bully, as there are various possible causes. Therefore it is my opinion that to bully a bully, serves no purpose but to escalate the problem. Bullying needs a new fresh definition, with a new fresh perspective.
-A-
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